so did I tell you that there was this guy who liked meโฆ and he was my best friendโฆ and also I kinda liked him
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
anyways soโฆ he basically wanted to date me I guessโฆ and I'd told my parents about the dudeโฆ
But they didn't like him much.
but they said maybe I could date him in like a few years, just not right now.
so I told him that.
but he wasn't happy.
and then he didn't talk to me for a few weeks.
so I asked him what's wrong.
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
I said "if there's anything you want to tell me, then do it, we're friends aren't we?"
and he said "are we?"
and I said "of course we are, we've been best friends for ages, what're you talking about?"
and he said that he had lost hope that we could ever be together.
and that it was best we weren't friends. and basically he wasn't going to wait for me, like we're as good as strangers.
and like. idk why I felt so bad and terrible and awful.
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
so I said to him "so are you happy about this? like you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, now you're saying let's not even be friends and never talk again. are you happy with the way things are turning out?"
and he said to me. "yes I'm happy. very happy actually. I feel so free and happy and relieved"
like idk but that hurt a lot.
then he said he doesn't hate me or anything. but we should just never talk ever again.
I said to him I was sorry if I hurt himโฆ
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
I didn't know what to say. and then he went and unfriended me on any app that he had that I was in, and he did the same to all my family tooโฆ
and like my family didn't dislike him, or think he was horrible. they just didn't know if he was the right person to date me because the guys dad had had problems and so my friend had been brought up in a bit of a bad way.
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
but anyway. so. idk if I told you but some years back I used to be very depressed.
but then God helped me and saved me from it.
im sure I saw Godโฆ without him I would be dead for a fact.
but anyway.
so after he told me that I was kinda in shock. I wasn't upset or crying or anything. I just walked about in a daze. I didn't understand. I tried to work everything out in my head but it was pointless
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
I couldn't tell my parents what happened. because they might be upset with me idkโฆ
and I tried to talk about it to my other 2 best friends. but one of them told me I wasn't her best friend, she had a new best friend.
anyways after a bit I cried and my heart hurt so bad. it felt like a giant hole had been ripped out of my heart
I honestly started to feel as if my depression from years ago was coming back
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
I couldn't ask for help from anyone and I just fried and thought about everythingโฆ.
I couldn't hate the guy. he was my best friend for so many yearsโฆ but there was a huge hole in my heart and it hurt so bad.
I felt physically cold. I felt as if I was in a maze, walking about and it was snowing. and I was going to freeze and die.
and no one would care or even know.
I didn't know how to live with the pain in my heart. everything reminded me of him. we had done so much stuff together โฆ
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
idkโฆ like. it still hurts. honestly I feel very lonely. and I just don't understand why we could just be friendsโฆ I know that likeโฆ maybe it would be painful for himโฆ but isn't it more painful to not be friends at all?
and. why would he be happy about it?
here i am feeling awful and heartbroken.
and I feel so bad too. I feel bad like I led him on and made him think we could be together.
like even still now I still love him and care about him and I can not think anything bad about him.
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
ugh what is wrong with me. why am I such an idiot and so stupid and Still can't get over the dude?
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
see. so like. I really can't tell my parents. because they will say to me "well why did you tell him you liked him. that was stupid. we taught you better than that."
or maybe they will say "if that is the sort of thing you talk about then we should take your phone because you shouldn't be like this. you know you shouldn't"
idk. But. I blame myself. somehow it is all my fault.
if I had never told him I liked him, maybe we could have stayed friends forever. idk. I'm such an idiot ๐ญ
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
so that's my pathetic story. totally stupid and idiotic. and to top it all off none of my friends have been answering my messages for some months (I get that they have lives, and are busy, and fine, they live in other countries, by like I thought we were friends)
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
um. yeah. any comments or questions or thoughts or something?
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
@GachaEditor2.0
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
@Sympathetic sister ohhhh okay. I understand the feeling. ๐
I want my pain to go away. like the dude I told you aboutโฆ likeโฆ
I can't say anything bad about him, I still love himโฆ he was my best friend and I really wanted to be with himโฆ
anyway... that's interesting that you maybe like your bffโฆ
and try not to feel too bad about the dudeโฆ likeโฆ try to forget him and don't talk to him.
hrs so rude to call you a female dog though, wow. that's just horrible. how dare he hurt your feelings so?
Lee Ji Hoon๐๐๐
4 years ago
๐ญit's just horribleโฆ don't be too hurt, okay? I'm here and I'm sorry you feel that way. ๐ขhonestly it hurts me that you be treated that way
not everyone is nice as they seem
Cali Grammy ๐๐๐บ๐ธ๐ฅ๐
5 years ago